The Power of Prioritising Yourself: Why Women Deserve to Come First

For women across all decades of life — from their 30s to their 60s — life often feels like an endless juggling act of meeting others’ needs, whether it’s family, career, friendships, or community obligations. Each stage comes with unique challenges, but a common thread remains: women often place themselves last.

While prioritising yourself might seem selfish, it’s actually a revolutionary act of self-care and empowerment. Incorporating essentialism, the practice of focusing on what truly matters and letting go of the rest, can be transformative for women at every age. Let’s explore why women find it so challenging to prioritise themselves, how this mindset shift can improve their lives, and the unique benefits at each life stage.

Why Women Struggle to Put Themselves First

In Their 30s

• Overcommitted Lives: Careers, relationships, and possibly young children demand energy and attention, leaving little room for personal needs.
• Pressure to Prove Themselves: Women often feel the need to “have it all” and excel in every role.
• Fear of Disappointing Others: Saying no can feel like failing as a partner, parent, or professional.

In Their 40s

• Peak Responsibility Years: Many women in their 40s balance advancing careers with raising teenagers or supporting their partner’s ambitions.
• The Invisible Load: The emotional and mental labour of managing a household often falls on women, leaving them drained.
• Midlife Identity Crisis: Questions like “What about me?” or “Is this all there is?” often emerge as they grapple with unmet personal aspirations.

In Their 50s

• Sandwich Generation Stress: Women in their 50s are often juggling care for ageing parents while still supporting grown children.
• Decades of Conditioning: After years of prioritising everyone else, it can feel foreign — even wrong — to put their needs first.
• Transitioning Roles: Whether it’s an empty nest or shifting careers, many women struggle to redefine their purpose.

In Their 60s

• The Guilt of Rest: After decades of constant productivity, women in their 60s often find it hard to embrace leisure or self-focus.
• Cultural Expectations: Society tends to sideline older women, making them feel their value is tied to nurturing or caregiving rather than personal growth.
• Health and Ageing Concerns: Physical changes can be a reminder to prioritise self-care, but many women still hesitate to make themselves a priority.

How Essentialism Can Transform Life at Any Age

Essentialism is a mindset that encourages you to do less, but better. It’s about intentionally focusing on what brings joy, fulfilment, and meaning, while eliminating what doesn’t. For women in their 30s, 40s, 50s, and 60s, embracing essentialism can create the freedom and clarity needed to thrive.

Here’s how adopting essentialism can help at every stage:

1. Clarify Your Priorities

Essentialism helps you focus on what truly matters — your health, happiness, and meaningful relationships — and let go of nonessential commitments.

✅ Example: In their 30s or 40s, women might choose to scale back on overcommitting to work projects or school activities and focus on quality family time. In their 50s and 60s, it might mean prioritising personal hobbies or wellness over external demands.

2. Set Boundaries Without Guilt

Learning to say no is a cornerstone of essentialism. By protecting your time and energy, you can focus on activities and people that align with your values.

✅ Example: Women in their 40s might step back from the “always-on” mode at work to protect evenings for themselves. Women in their 60s might decline excessive caregiving roles to enjoy hobbies, travel, or rest.

3. Create Space for Self-Discovery

At any age, essentialism invites women to reconnect with their passions, rediscover dreams, or even explore new ones.

✅ Example: A woman in her 50s might take up a passion she once set aside, like photography or painting. A woman in her 60s might explore travel or join a community group to connect with others.

4. Cultivate Better Relationships

By focusing on fewer, deeper connections, women can experience more meaningful relationships with family, friends, and even themselves.

✅ Example: In their 40s and 50s, women might focus on strengthening their marriage or rekindling friendships. In their 60s, it might mean spending time with grandchildren in ways that feel balanced and fulfilling.

5. Enhance Wellbeing

By eliminating unnecessary stressors and commitments, essentialism helps women of all ages prioritise their physical and mental health.

✅ Example: A woman in her 30s might commit to regular exercise, while a woman in her 60s could focus on restorative practices like yoga or mindfulness.

The Benefits of Prioritising Yourself Through Essentialism

When women adopt essentialism and make themselves a priority, they unlock profound benefits:

1. Improved Emotional Resilience

Letting go of overwhelm allows you to show up with more patience, energy, and positivity in every aspect of your life.

2. A Clearer Sense of Purpose

Essentialism helps women reconnect with their passions and goals, whether they’re building a career in their 30s or redefining their identity in their 50s and 60s.

3. Stronger Relationships

By focusing on meaningful connections rather than spreading themselves thin, women can cultivate deeper, healthier relationships.

4. Greater Fulfilment

Eliminating unnecessary commitments creates room for joy, creativity, and satisfaction at every life stage.

5. Better Physical Health

With less stress and more time, women can focus on maintaining their health through exercise, nutrition, and rest.

6. A Legacy of Self-Worth

Women who prioritise themselves model the importance of self-care and intentional living for younger generations.

Practical Steps to Embrace Essentialism at Any Age

• Identify Your Priorities: Regularly reflect on what matters most — your health, family, passions, or goals. Let go of anything that doesn’t align.
• Learn to Say No: Practice declining commitments that don’t serve your priorities.
• Declutter Your Time and Energy: Simplify your schedule by focusing on fewer but more meaningful activities.
• Protect Your Rest: Prioritise downtime for self-care, reflection, and rejuvenation.
• Celebrate Your Worth: Remind yourself that your needs are just as important as anyone else’s.

How Prioritising Yourself Looks Across Life Stages

• In Your 30s: Essentialism helps balance the chaos of early career and family life by focusing on meaningful commitments and self-care.
• In Your 40s: It brings clarity amidst peak responsibilities, allowing you to rediscover passions and create boundaries that protect your energy.
• In Your 50s: Essentialism helps redefine your identity, creating space for personal growth, joy, and fulfilment as caregiving roles evolve.
• In Your 60s: It offers the freedom to embrace a new chapter focused on health, leisure, and intentional living, free from guilt or societal expectations.

A Final Thought

No matter your age, prioritising yourself and embracing essentialism is a powerful act of self-love. It’s about recognising that your needs, desires, and dreams are just as valid as anyone else’s.

To women in their 30s, 40s, 50s, and 60s: you’ve spent years pouring into others. Now, it’s your turn. By choosing what truly matters and letting go of the rest, you can create a life that is fulfilling, joyful, and uniquely yours.

What’s one small change you can make today to prioritise yourself?